sometimes, I wonder why I even try to keep appearances, like talking to people, showing up to work, or finishing my diploma I have no care for anyways.
i've always been good with tech and stuff, maybe because thats the only way I can spend half a day not talking with anyone and be able to create something.
since I met him, I've always wanted to just stop this live, run away with him and be done with all of this; spending the rest of my life to serve and take care of the one I love, my Sir.
things didn't work out that way and i've been losing motivation for pretty much everything, except maybe doing some stupid projects or spending days and nights playing some stupid games I don't even care about anymore.
but in the night, when going through one of the thousand anxiety breakdowns I've already had, His image is really the only thing that helps me cool down a bit and at least manage to control and recover after a while.
i wish the time before our next meeting would just pass already so I could find a bit of comfort far away from the world's noise