I laughed in a pharmacy
The euphoria of discovering what "0 pain" means.
One of the things I managed to progress on, thanks to my awesome family doctor, was acquiring a full dorsal-lumbar belt to help relieve my usual back / spine pain.
It took me a bit to get it, and due to new years' eve fucking up my time schedule (delayed deliveries and such), it was pretty painful to obtain (in the literal sense, I had to grind through one of the strongest waves of pain I've gotten without being able to take a painkiller shot because of the imminence of having to go get the belt "as soon as possible"), but I got it!
Except that it wasn't small (seriously, the box was bigger than my work laptop's and UPS' boxes, combined) and easy to set up (lumbar belts are so simple, in comparison).
It took us three (me, but also two pharmacists who ran to help me properly set it up and adjust it) some time to measure and set everything up (first time I've gotten my spinal cord measured, it's weird) and it kinda felt like strapping for some heavy exoskeleton (which is, tbh, freaking cool), but the moment the pharmacist told me to tighten the compression straps, and the moment I did it, I instantly felt all the pain from my entire back (which was strong enough to go through a painkiller shot at this point) drain instantly.
The first time ever I didn't feel pain in my back or my neck.
In my entire life.
This was such a strange feeling of... not emptiness or numbness (like painkillers usually produce), but instead of... I don't know... It's hard to describe and I tried several words or expressions but none fit. Still.
It was such a strange feeling I was discovering it instantly made me start to chuckle, which didn't stop but instead ended up in a full blown laughter (which, I think, kinda scared one of the other pharmacists who were busy with other stuff).
Still lots of pain and bullshit to deal with, but this is... Incredible. One zone of my body that can actually now feel relatively okay.
Now to try some for my knees and wrists, and maybe ankles too.